No Style
by breathing-the-yaoi
Summary: DxH. Harry felt like a change anyway... So when Draco insults his clothes for the umpteenth time, he decides to make a bet. He'll impress Draco with his clothes by the end of the semester or wear whatever Draco wants...
1. The Bet

**Pairings: Draco x Harry. Side Pairings: Pansy x Hermione. Ron x Blaise**

**Warnings/ Disclaimers: No warnings really... I'm going to try to keep it clean...ish. Ah, but I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Summary: DxH. Harry felt like a change anyway... So when Draco insults his clothes for the umpteenth time, he decides to make a bet. He'll impress Draco with his clothes by the end of the semester or wear whatever Draco wants...**

"You have no style," Draco Malfoy stated with a sniff, as he appraised what the addressed person was wearing. It was awful…and tacky! He had thought Gryffindors were all about pride and whatnot…So why they let this raggedy prat with no taste be their image was beyond him. Harry Potter and everyone gathered in the hallway around them glanced at the offending articles. The Slytherins snickered, their agreement obvious and fueling Draco to want to say more. The Gryffindors seemed embarrassed for Harry and offended. The Malfoy heir half expected an inner beauty speech or some other rubbish to start spouting from the Gryffindorks. Harry lifted his eyes slowly from his clothes and stared into Draco's with a cocked eyebrow and smirk.

"You always go back to the same thing, don't you? Dead parents, ratty clothes, 'loser' friends, and bad potion skills: it gets a bit old after a while, no? Less hurtful, more pathetic. And here I thought you were supposed to be smarter than that." Harry sent him a mocking pitied look, batting his eyelashes, his smirk still in place. The Weasel's smile increased after Harry had finished, thinking this was a victory for his friend yet again. But of course, Malfoy didn't plan to let his prey go that easily. Before he replied, he briefly wondered when Potter had managed to not let his anger get the best of him and actually think up a biting comment. It made him that much better a rival, he had to admit.

"Ah, my apologies, Scarface," Draco sneered. "I didn't realize you had gone and become smart enough that I don't have to dumb down my insults. It's such a relief! You have no idea how trying it is to hold back intellect and speak like a simpleton so _losers_ can understand you."

The Slytherins egged him on until they looked at The-Boy-Who-Lived. Potter stood there, examining his nails without a bit of interest in what Draco had said. The latter felt a vein flowing with angry blood and glared hard at the target of his insults. He felt a desperate urge to punch him hard in the gut added to a few other painful attacks. But! That would make him the brash idiot this time wouldn't it? So, forcing his tense arms at his sides, he glowered at his rival, waiting for what would happen next.

Blowing on his nails nonchalantly, Harry looked around lazily at the expectant faces. Hmm, what to do now? Should he take apart one of the many insults Malfoy had sent his way since they had ran into each other in the hall? Let's see, he had insulted Harry for the explosion in Potions today, had used many of the 'nicknames' he had lovingly given the Golden Trio, and insulted his clothing choices. Which now that Harry had a good look at them, were pretty threadbare. A crimson sweater that looked 2 or 4 sizes too big hid his torso's shape but revealed the white undershirt underneath through holes that didn't have patches on them. Loose tan slacks hid his lower half's figure also, with the frayed ends rolled up so he didn't trip on them.

Harry could not care less about his wardrobe if he tried. He wore what was comfortable, despite knowing that maybe the Wizarding World would like their hero to dress a little better. It wasn't as if he had no choice but to wear these clothes. He had plenty of money for new ones should he so choose. Glancing slothfully into the aggravated eyes of his enemy, an idea popped in his mind. The brunette couldn't help the happy smile that slipped onto his countenance.

"Hey, how about a bet, Draco?" A shiver of anger and some other unknown feeling ran down Malfoy's spine at the sound of his first name falling so easily off _that_ person's tongue. His hard look intensified, but the curiosity was evident too. Harry noted the interest and took it as a sign to continue.

"I was in the mood for a change anyway… So how about this: I'll try out a new style. Everyday I'll wear something unlike the last. If I can't find something by the end of this semester that impresses you then next year…I'll wear whatever you like. If I do impress you, you have to wear whatever _I_ want. Sound good?" Harry had a large smirk on his face and one bony hip stuck out, a hand atop it.

Draco's mind halted. He wondered how the heck it had gone from a verbal fight to this bet. It did show a lot of creativity on his rival's part. But _why _did his nemesis look so hot right now, confidence and cockiness shining through his pose? This thought was quickly stomped down and incinerated in white flames. Looking around, he saw that his House was looking at him eagerly, waiting for him to accept the challenge or make a snide comment. Clearing his throat, he regained the composure expected of the Slytherin Prince.

"You've got yourself a deal, Potter," the blonde drawled. He got a thousand watt smile in return before Pansy strode over to Granger's side and whispered something. The genius nodded and whispered excitedly back. Everyone except the two women stared on in confusion. Pansy clapped her hands together and announced that Granger, Potter, and her were going shopping now before grabbing both their hands and leaving. The Weasel looked confused and hurt to be left out, trailing slowly behind them. The remaining teenagers shrugged it off as another weird Hogwarts mystery and went back on their way.

Blaise started talking eagerly about how there hadn't been much excitement for a while and shouldn't this be a load of fun? Draco had to agree with him there… The thought of all the horrendous outfits Potter would probably dress in made him want to throw his head back and laugh. But he didn't. Because he is a Malfoy, hilarious mental pictures or not. He did, however, share the image that had come to his mind of Weasel and Potty bringing out ugly outfits one after another, while Pansy and the mudblood clutched their heads in annoyance with Blaise. Together they laughed and joked more about how entertaining this bet would be.

_Flashback_

Pansy marched over to her Gryffindor friend. (She said friend loosely since they were more like co-conspirators.) She leaned in, brushing aside the soft, curly hair and whispered in her ear. She pointedly ignored the strange looks she knew she was getting.

"This is perfect. We'll dress Harry in sexy outfits and make both of those idiot boys realize their feelings for each other."

Hermione grinned, turning to whisper happily in her ally's ear. "Sounds like a plan. I think Harry's almost out of denial finally."

Pansy had been thinking the same thing. Lately it seemed that Harry's words were more of flirtatious banter than poisonous insults. Though the same couldn't be said for her oblivious Draco. She got everyone's attention before stating where they were going and pulling along her shopping partners down the hall. She was sure that using some Slytherin charisma she'd be able to get a pass for leaving Hogwarts. Besides, all she had to do was bring up the potential that this could bring Malfoy and Potter together if the charisma failed. Everyone in the school not too oblivious to the sexual tension was dying for the horrid atmosphere to disperse. If you took too deep a breath around the two, you could choke on all of the hormones and desire.

**Ooh, my first Harry Potter fanfiction! How was it? I was prompted to do this after picturing a skinny, adorable Harry in leather… Which might make an appearance towards the end of this story… Review!! REVIEW!! R-E-V-I-E-W!! please?**


	2. Outfit One

Harry walked out of the changing room, a proud smile on his face. The faces of the girls accompanying him fell when they saw the horrid outfit. Pansy clutched her head with her hand and shook her head. Hermione grimaced and scrunched up her nose. Ron's face lit up and he smiled at the outfit choice.

"Hold on a second!" Ron ran to the back of the store the four were in. The three stared after him until he ran back a minute later, something hidden behind his back as he grinned. Whipping out his finds, he settled the hat on Harry's head and placed the shoes on the ground for his friend to step into. Harry put them on, leaning against a wall for support, before glancing at his reflection. A red and purple plaid shirt was tucked into tight, tan pants. On his head was a cowboy hat and cowboy boots snugly fit his feet. Harry spun once and turned to stare at Ron.

"Ron…this is great!"

He and Weasley beamed at each other, discussing whether they should buy matching pairs of it; one for the red-head, one for the brunette. Granger broke into the conversation, lecturing them on how if they wore that she would never talk to them again. Then she started pulling Harry around, showing him the clothes he _should've _picked. Pansy thought at that moment that it was definitely going to be a long day. Then she gathered up some of the clothes her and Granger had picked while Potter had been changing, and placed them ungracefully in the boy's arms. He stumbled into the dressing room under the weight of the fabrics.

**~8 Minutes Later~**

"I think we have a winner," Harry chirped happily. The three outside cheered for him to come out and show the group. The two females were skeptical though, since The-Boy-Who-Lived had _really_ sucky taste. A brunette head of hair popped out to grin briefly at them before the door swung open the rest of the way. Three jaws dropped and a few other customers in the store whistled, resulting in a scarlet blush on the subject of attention's face.

"W-wow," Hermione managed to get out, wiping away the blood from her nose.

His other friends nodded numbly. Pansy's nose was also suddenly bleeding and Ron had considered going gay, or at least bi, for a moment. This event repeated itself as Potter tried on more outfits. He even got two customers' numbers and a discount on his transaction. So five hours later, four thoroughly exhausted teens walked out, levitating the bags back to their school. As Harry and Ron went ahead, chattering about something idiotic, Pansy grabbed Hermione's arm to stop her.

"With those outfits, Draco dear might actually fall for Potter," she giggled, absently running her fingers through the bushy hair.

Hermione nodded and smiled sweetly, leaning into the fingers. They stood there a few seconds before continuing on their way; as if nothing, certainly no electric chemistry, had happened between them.

**~First Day of Bet~**

Draco rubbed drooping eyes and set his head on his arms for a little rest. He hadn't gotten but a few hours of sleep and he was tired! He and Blaise had gotten to their dormitory slightly before curfew but as soon as Draco's head hit the pillow, disturbing images came into his head and kept him awake. It was horrible, like watching a scary movie you just couldn't stop. There was a dream-Draco, looking slightly feverish with sweat causing his platinum blonde hair to cling to his face. His view of the rest of the room was obstructed by a curtain surrounding his bed. He tried getting up but it seemed there was invisible restraints on him. Suddenly, the curtain was pulled back revealing his nurse…

Harry bloody Potter. This is when things started scaring Malfoy. Because in his half-asleep daze, he could feel a certain part of his anatomy standing at attention, as if welcoming the brunette. At first, Potter was dressed in loose, blue medical scrubs but with a flicker, Draco's mind changed it so he was wearing a tiny, white skirt, white top, and a bright, adorable blush. Swaying his hips over to his 'patient', Potter preceded to take his temperature. (Now _that_ was an experience...) And then a lollipop popped out of nowhere and he started _sucking_, licking, and nipping at the sweet. Draco had no idea why a medical school, even a dream one, would've accepted and passed this nurse. Because after the candy disappeared completely behind those plump pink lips, his nurse took it upon himself to straddle Malfoy. _Activities_ happened and needless to say, Draco woke up shocked, irritated, and burning hot, with a want for a frigid shower pronto.

Draco's eyes burned as he and the rest of the Slytherins waited for the Golden Boy to show up and entertain them with his outfit. Where was the professor for that matter? Snape only has to walk a few feet to get to the classroom from his office... (The school was notified of the bet and decided it best if the two enemies got some alone time. Even Snape agreed, since lately he had noticed the feelings between the two was enough to spark a fire, if presented over nescessary materials. So now he's sulking in his office about his godson potentially dating the bane of his class.) The blonde grumbled about how tired he was, bringing an end to Blaise's longwinded one-sided conversation. His friend shot him a look that told him that it had been very rude to cut someone off like that. But then his eyes widened and he started grinning at whatever was behind Malfoy. Turning to stare at the doorway, at first he saw nothing but a crowd of Gryffindorks before what Blaise had been smiling at reappeared…

Harry bloody Potter. (Déjà vu.) And he was dressed…semi-presentable. Tight, dark, whisker-washed jeans made his legs look longer and skinnier than they already were. A white T-shirt with a British flag hung loosely from his body and was short enough that when Harry yawned and stretched, his shirt revealed a _very _nice set of abs. Scuffed Converses were on his feet and his hair was just as messed up as usual. Only it seemed purposely styled that way this time, as it shined under the light with aid of some leave-in conditioner. Weasely, who didn't seem able to take his eyes off his friend for even a second, was carrying a leather jacket that matched Potter's jeans. He wears _one_ decent outfit and suddenly he gets a whole bloody entourage. He snickered as he pictured people lining up at his feet, asking for autographs.

Draco turned around to talk to Blaise about the outfit, to find him not there. Scanning the classroom, he saw that his friend had apparently decided to join the Potter worshippers. The backstabber. (The truth is Blaise was choking on the sexual desire Draco had unknowingly released and decided it safer with the others. Plus he liked teasing that redhead...) Fiddling with his wand, he noticed a few moments later that it had quieted down. He turned in his seat to see why but was confronted with green eyes, their owner bent over to look levelly at him.

Grasping his heart (Who knew the Golden Boy was as sneaky as a cat?!), Draco tried to sneer but settled for a smirk. "What do you want, Potter?"

The-Boy-Who-Lived blinked at him slowly, before turning around a few times to show all of his outfit. Malfoy was angry to hear one of his henchmen shouting for him to strike a pose. The brunette gave him a questioning look before leaning against the table behind him, waiting for an answer to his unspoken question. Draco appraised him once more, scanning the faces of his Housemates. All except Bulstrode and Pansy seemed to be taken with (or at least not loathing) the outfit.

A sneer finally flitted onto Draco's face. "You're dressed too lazily. I say 'fail'." And with that, he turned back around to his table. Some of the other students boo'd jokingly and he could've sworn he heard a comparison of him to Simon Cowell. He didn't notice the amused smile on his rival's face. Because to tell the truth, for some strange reason, Harry didn't _want _the contest to end that quickly. For one thing, he still had tons of more clothes to try out. But there was another part of him that thought this was a good opportunity to get close to Malfoy…and that thought wasn't as disturbing as he would've liked.

In the back of the Potions classroom, Parkinson was trying to hold her friend back from lecturing the Slytherin Prince. She seemed to think that the verdict could've been changed with nagging. It was fairly easy to restrain Granger since it didn't seem she was all that desperate to escape her touch. Tugging her so she faced the Slytherin girl, Pansy leaned in to whisper something, not noticing the shiver that came as she did so.

"This is a good thing. If Draco liked the first one, he wouldn't have the chance to discover his feelings. Plus, we wouldn't have a reason to make Potter where 'that' outfit."

Hermione smiled with a glint in her eye as she recalled the outfit. But they were saving that in case Draco took forever realizing his soul mate was right in front of him. She couldn't believe she had forgotten. Why did she feel so dumb around Pansy? She had a feeling she knew.

Suddenly, Harry shivered from the cold dungeon air. Blaise, Seamus, Dean, and other boys and girls alike rushed to give him their robe. Ron pushed through them and handed his buddy the leather jacket he had carried for him. He nearly melted when he received a bright smile in return. But he sobered when someone pinched his butt. That had actually felt pretty nice... Weasley went off to find Zabini and yell (ask for more) at him. Meanwhile, gray eyes were watching Potter from the corner of his vision. Ah, it looks like Harry's fashion change will go over nicely…

**So...? Was it good enough to get your lovely review?? Please review!!  
**


	3. Outfit Two & Three

**~Third Day of Bet~**

"He's taking a long time in there…," Pansy remarked, staring at the closed bathroom door. She and Hermione Granger were sitting on the trunk at the end of Harry's bed, waiting for him to come and show them the outfit they were making him wear today. Their hands were next to each other, pinkies linked. They had shown up in the boy's dormitory bright and early. So far, luckily, none of the other boys had woken up.

"He's probably having a fit. I told you we should have picked something more conservative. If we suddenly have him wear something like that, he'll definitely freak out."

"There's a lot more shocking clothes that we had bought. This was pretty mild compared to 'that'. Besides…after Draco honey's reaction (or lack of reaction) to yesterday's outfit, we need to wake him up a bit."

It was true. Yesterday, Malfoy took one blank, nonchalant look at Harry before turning back around and saying 'fail'. Harry had worn an orange hoodie with brown corduroy shorts. They had done like the first day and messed up his hair more, until it was an actual style. Despite the laidback demeanor of the outfit, it really made him look cool. When Harry greeted his redheaded friend with a calm nod, the aforementioned friend snapped and tackled the boy. It had taken several minutes and two spells to separate them.

With the first two fails weighing on their heads, the girls decided to…get edgier. Their 'victim' poked his head out of the door and glared with as much ferocity as he could manage.

"It shows too much skin," Potter hissed at them. They waved him out anyway and, crossing his arms over the patches of skin showing, he approached them. He shot a quick look to make sure Ron was still asleep (yesterday had spooked him a bit). Parkinson pulled one arm from his body and put his other arm to rest stiffly at his side. He blushed as he watched them giggle and ogle his body like it was some tasty morsel.

"Turn around," ordered Pansy, releasing the arms. He did and they giggled more. Draco was going to have a hard time saying 'fail' to this one.

A pouting Boy-Who-Lived was wearing loose, green camouflage cargo pants that fit snugly on his hips, just a few centimeters from indecent exposure. His flat abs were revealed because of the tiny matching green, jean jacket he wore. The collar of the jacket partially stood up stiffly. Down the front of the jacket were two pockets and a large brass zipper, which if pulled down would reveal the itty-bitty white top Potter had insisted on having under. The girls took out a handkerchief each and wiped at their twin nosebleeds.

Hermione spoke first. "It shows just the right amount of skin. You look great, Harry!"

Harry blushed and looked down at himself. Maybe he could put up with it for now. He jumped as he saw Ron stirring and sitting up. He flung himself on the bed and crawled under the sheets. He did not need to be molested this early in the morning.

(He got molested anyway when he finally had to leave the bed to go to breakfast. He had stopped in front of where he usually sat and looked around for his rival, which gave his perverted Housemates and those that were nearby enough time to attack. Hogwarts was filled with his undignified shrieks as he ran throughout it, trying to get away.)

~*~*~

Draco had missed the breakfast debacle. (When he heard about it from Blaise and Pansy later, he burst out laughing and clutched his sore sides. That is until he remembered that it had been _Potter_ who had been chased. That caused the laugh to turn bitter and his heart ached oddly.) He had slept in until his Housemates had left, assuring them that he was feeling fine and would be down in a while. Truth being that he had had another onslaught of…_dreams_ last night and didn't want to get up and have his friends see the evidence.

A cold shower and a cleaning spell helped clean the 'scene of the crime'. Draco wandered to the shared Potions class with the dreams' remnants swirling inside his head. Last night's dreams involved a leering enemy finding a better use for his mouth… Once again, Precious Potter had an entourage around him at his desk, limiting Malfoy's view of him. All he could see was a nice army green, with some specks of assorted other greens.

_Now all he needs is a splash of silver in there…_, Draco joked to himself, before his mind supplied a picture of the brunette wearing nothing but Draco's silver and green bedsheets. His face started to heat up and he sat down at his desk, facing the front and barely listening to Blaise again. Suddenly a green, camo-covered butt sat itself down in front of him. _What a nice butt…_

"So, what do you think of this one," Harry asked bluntly, his body swiveling so his nemesis could take it all in. Truth be told, Draco liked it; liked it a _lot_. But that wasn't something his enemy needed to know. Besides, this nagging little voice told him that if he gave an approval, he'd regret the bet ending. So he tried to play it cool and casual but it was hard with his hand inching towards Harry's thigh.

"Why is your arse on my desk," the blonde sneered. He received a cocky smirk he desperately wanted to hex off.

"Why aren't you answering the question?"

_Because there's an enticing rear at eyelevel. _"I will answer the question once you get off!" He shoved the Wonder Boy off his desk softly, relishing the contact for some strange reason. Harry raised an eyebrow before placing his hands on his hips.

They stared into each other eyes for a few seconds, both challenging the other, before looking to the source of the sudden noise. Blaise had Weasley half-naked and pinned on the table behind them. He was straddling him as he worked on the pants. Ron was squawking and cursing at the darker boy, thrashing under his body. (Which only seemed to make the touching much more delightful for both boys.) Everyone stared half-amused, half-petrified of how far they might go in public.

Professor Snape, meanwhile, was beside himself. Clearly in a situation like this, a teacher should burst out of his office and stop the hormonal deeds of his charges. But, as Snape knew from casting an eavesdropping spell, his godson had not yet answered that annoying Potter's question. And the paper all the teacher's had been sent, very precisely said no interfering in good moods, lest we have to put up with the secret pining for centuries to come. (And Snape, who had to put up with them nearly everyday, got hit by their hidden lust the hardest and did _not_ want to deal with it any longer. Even if it was going to partially benefit that Potter child.)

Snape turned an unfitting color of red when he heard the moans and groans coming from the next room. Apparently the Weasel didn't find the situation to be that bad anymore. (Blaise had gotten himself and Ron down to boxers and was taking the other boy's moans as encouragement to defile his cute little redhead.) Frowning at the noises, the dark-haired teacher promised that he would most definitely give the shabby, Potter-follower and his boyfriend detention for the rest of the year and scrub the tables until every trace and memory was gone.

Amidst the cheers and applause over the erotic scene, Pansy and Hermione chose to watch two other boys right now. Potter had sat back down on the desk and was swinging his legs back and forth. Malfoy, preoccupied with the show in front of him, just naturally leaned back into his rival, his shoulder on Harry's knee and his arm brushing a leg occasionally. When the two friends saw how cute they looked together they cooed and giggled. They saw Draco lean farther into Potter and whisper to him.

"Nice try, but I reject this one too."

**UGH! I suck at writing so much, right? Yeah, I know… Anyway, please read the next chapter! Oh, and sorry for late updates!!  
**


	4. Guidelines of the Bet

**Well, I thought, as I sat here bored…****'****I'm going to do the letter that warned all the teachers about this bet.' So treat this as a bonus. Oh, by the way, I used my Japanese name, ok?? I couldn't think of anything else…**

To: All Teachers & Staff, Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft & Wizardry.

From: The Desk of Prof. Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress

Subject: There is a bet between two students that requires our attention.

Allow me to inform you that this is not the Headmistress, but her assistant, Teyano Kiku. Professor asked that I deliver and write this to you, for she is busy with work. But back to the subject: I am sure all of you are aware of Mr. Harry Potter being in our school. (He's a tall brunette Gryffindor with a lightning bolt scar of his forehead- kind of hard to miss.) But, I believe only a few of you know about the rivalry he has with Mr. Draco Malfoy. (Malfoy heir, he's a blonde, grey-eyed Slytherin- hard to avoid.)

It seems these two students, having aged to point where they don't settle everything with fists, have made a bet. Mr. Malfoy is stated on record to "constantly rag on that dude's clothes, like all the time, man". (The student who made this statement doesn't want their identity shared.) Apparently fed up with that, Mr. Potter delivered him this bet: he impresses the Malfoy heir with his clothes by the end of the semester or he has to wear whatever is asked of him. Same goes if Mr. Malfoy is the loser. (This secretary would ask the permission to share that if I were the winner- I'd have both of them naked. But I can't ask that since I'm still on parole from the last time I asked a minor that…)

We _are_ allowing this bet to take place. For those of you that don't known about the rivalry, you probably also don't know about the…tension between these two of a sexual matter. Allow me to specify, Mr. Potter and Malfoy seem to quite fancy each other, but neither will admit it. There have been times when their psychical fighting seems more like the foreplay neither of them realize they are having. While it might seem like nothing to those not constantly involved in such matters, let me tell you: this _is_ very serious! The atmosphere between the two youths has been rumored to choke anyone innocent enough to not handle the unbridled lust. (If that doesn't tell you how serious it is, allow me to tell you that many a first year student here at Hogwarts has been subjected to a temporary coma. All because they wanted to get closer to the Boy-Who-Lived and timed it wrong so he ended up in between the two rivals.)

So why am I writing all the teachers and not just the ones that teach these two students? Because the Headmistress has requested all adults help with this very important task of making the two boys realize their feelings. What can you do? Well, there are guidelines and more help below.

**~Guidelines~**

Do not seduce the couple yourself. They're minors and destined for each other. I don't care if you 'think that brunette could use a real man that could show his body what real pleasure is'. Just, no…it's WRONG!

Do not slip love potions in their juice. Something always goes wrong with those. (See the Christmas debacle of '87. In which, our former Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore was slipped one and had an 'accident' with Professor Severus Snape.)

Do not cast a spell of any romantic inclination. These go bad also. (See the Surprise Event of '98. It was the first time in reported history that we found out a werewolf could get a wizard pregnant, even in his transformed state. See also Lupin and Black pregnancy.) 

Do not encourage them to videotape their sexual intercourse. Nor should you ask your boss if you can hide cameras around their usual hangouts. (See Secretary Kiku almost fired for being a major pervert.)

Do not cast spells that render our subjects nude. For obvious reasons. (See Secretary Kiku tries to start nudist colony inside wholesome school.)

DO NOT MENTION THIS TO HARRY POTTER OR DRACO MALFOY! The mention of the underside of the bet could uproot any grounding their relationship is on.

**How You Can Help**

Regular accidents can provoke extraordinary feelings. Such as 'accidently' pushing one of the boys into the other. Just try not to do it around stairs. The school refuses to be held liable.

Jealousy makes one realize how valuable another is. So therefore, even if it involves heartbreak for the third student involved, try to encourage charges that they have a chance with Mr. Potter or Malfoy. The school refuses to be held liable should a student then need therapy or a shoulder to cry on.

Compliment! Make sure that when you walk by in the hall, you tell one of our subjects how great they look. (See above topic of jealousy.) This might make them confident enough to confess or make the other realize that their rival does in fact, look nice today.

Create 'dangerous' situations in which one of the boys is in trouble and only the other one can save them. (See magic-binding and selective magic for more information.)

Hint! 'My, what a lovely couple you'd make.' 'Wow, your children would be beautiful!' 'I bet you guys would have awesome sex!' It doesn't specifically matter what you say as long as you hint at their chemistry.

Create a romantic atmosphere. Say you run into the bickering couple in the hall…simply create a radio or music device and play some Barry Manilow. If they don't start going at it, there is something seriously wrong.

**Other Information**

We would ask that you do not disturb the couple when there is a nice mood going on. If they already seem close, then there is no need for interference.

Mr. Potter has a tendency to be (also on record, from the same student) "glomped, man! He gets major huggles from the fangirls and boys. It's creeping me out, man!' If Mr. Malfoy is nowhere near the scene, then break it up. If Mr. Malfoy is there, it's a chance for him to realize his feelings.

There are four other students that are important to the bet. That would be Blaise Zabini, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Pansy Parkinson. They are given free reign until otherwise notified.

You teachers that decide this not a cause worth your time will be spending two years as the Weasley twins' test subject. 

If you are curious for more information or are unclear on something, please contact us. Professor McGonagall and I will assist in anything to get those two nits together. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Prof. M. McGonagall, Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

K.T.

**Hehe! Took forever to write! But how was it? REVIEW!!**


	5. Outfit Four

**Hey, everyone! Thanks for the reviews and views! I appreciate it~! By the way, do you guys want Potter to wear anything special?? Perverted preferences? Oh, and my story kind of ignores the books' plot and some character death…Put up with it, ok??**

**~Fourth Day of Bet~**

Draco narrowed his eyes as he saw the Golden Trio heading indifferently to the Slytherin table. His friends noticed too and, just as casually, made room for them. (Meanwhile, the people at Hogwarts that didn't know about the bet were sure the apocalypse was nearing when they saw Gryffindors and Slytherins getting along. One especially weak Hufflepuff broke out crying that he didn't want to die yet.)

Granger sat down with Pansy, automatically starting a hushed conversation. They kept sending looks at Harry and Draco, before laughing and resuming their conversation. Ron, finding no other place available, sat next to Blaise, who arrogantly pulled the redhead on his lap and smirked. Weasley protested but a second before Blaise whispered something to him, and he blushed and kept silent the rest of the time. Malfoy stared hard at the last Gryffindor left standing next to him. He dared him with his eyes to even try to sit next to him.

"Sit and I hex you into next week, Potty. Bet or no, I will not sit next to you!"

Unfortunately, Harry seemed too brave or clueless to take the 'hint' as he sat down without a second thought. Draco squawked before elbowed roughly in his delicate ribs. He eyed his enemy as the breakfast plates started to fill. Said enemy was wearing his usual robe that was covering today's outfit and pulled tightly around the body so as not to reveal anything. He hadn't worn that the past few days. Draco snorted at the thought that the Golden Boy probably got yelled at for not dressing correctly.

(He didn't. Hogwarts has agreed to let the six people most involved with the bet to…basically do anything they wanted until the semester's end. Think of it as Spring Break for those six, but with magic! Harry just wanted this outfit to be… a shocker.)

Potter watched Malfoy until he had gotten a bit more comfortable with the intrusions and was drinking some of his juice and chatting freely. He and the rest of the table were laughing at Zabini groping Weasley. Smirking, Harry opened his robe. And Draco, in a very un-Malfoy-like way, spit his juice across the table and himself as he saw the outfit. Staring in shock, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Similarly, the rest of Hogwarts had spit up, besides the two people who had actually help pick out the outfit. The subject of attention merely grinned smugly and batted his eyelashes mock-innocently at the sudden attention. Which, in that outfit, he was not; innocent that is. Like a fish, the Slytherin Prince's mouth was open and closing as a certain part of his body grew more… _excited!_

"Merlin!! W-what are you wea-wearing, Harry," Ron asked in a voice a bit too high-pitched to be his regular one. He was clawing at the table trying to get to his friend, but Blaise had him around the waist and was shooting jealous looks Harry's way. Potter shrugged like this was regular clothing.

Composing himself, the blonde boy examined the muggle clothes. Harry's tanned, broad shoulders were exposed but the view was cut short from more exposure with white satin, bunched together and encircling the top of the outfit. As his eyes traveled down further, he noticed that, unlike typical maid uniforms he had seen, this had been modified to show more of the delicious bronzed skin only Potter seemingly possessed. Like the shirt from the day before, this one revealed a nice set of abs and bared a large expanse of skin until the tips of his pelvic bone stuck out. Lifting up the tablecloth, Draco saw that Harry bloody Potter, _the_ Golden Boy and hero of the Wizarding World, was wearing a skirt! One that came to his ankles and had a satin apron on front.

"Bloody _hell_, mate! Are you wearing a dress?!" Ron spoke what everyone who could see the outfit properly had been thinking, as he still fussed across the table, trying to get over to his friend. The friend in question merely sniffed and pinched the sides of the skirt before dropping it back.

Harry said, while shooting daggers at two grinning girls, "Not my idea. But it does look pretty good, doesn't it, Draco?"

Draco felt anger rise and then sink away at his rival once again calling him by his first name. As it sunk away, a voice inside him started to wonder when his adversary had gotten such a _nice_ body… And if he did any swimming since Potter's broad shoulders and narrow waist indicated that he must've. Realizing everyone was looking at him, waiting for a reply, he sneered as an afterthought.

All ready with a snarky comment and a rejection, he opened his mouth…-- And promptly shut it as he watched Goyle start to flirt with the boy he used to berate. What was the world coming to?!

"Did you know that spit cleans wands well? …Oh, wait, did I say that right," Goyle asked, turning to Crabbe.

"It's 'You know my wand's been really dirty lately; needs a good spit-shine. Your mouth wouldn't be willing, would it?'" Malfoy said after Crabbe merely shrugged.

Goyle grunted, nodding slightly. Harry looked like he wanted to laugh, shiver in disgust, and hex the Slytherins all at once.

"…Anyway, Draco love, what do you think of Po-Harry's outfit," Pansy asked, remembering that Hermione wanted her to treat the other house like friends now. And that would include first name usage. The instigators' hands sat between them, palm to palm with fingers intertwined.

"I don't approve of this one either. It's not very convenient for daily life and…Potter, you _do_ realize you're a boy, right? Anyway, no Malfoy would accept such a scandalous outfit to be worn in public."

A cute, very un-Potter-ish pout graced his nemesis's face before disappearing into another large smile. Everyone went back to talking animatedly. Ron gave up on escaping Blaise's grasp and instead leaned into the other boy's body. (Which seemed intimate and awkward all at once, seeing as the darker boy was a bit shorter than Weasley.) Crabbe, Goyle, and Harry seemed to be enjoying a conversation about pick-up lines. (The group favorite had been decided as 'I lost my number. Can I have yours?')

Rolling his silvery eyes at the idiocy of it all, Draco tuned into the female's conversation while picking at his breakfast. As mention of a sailor suit or a tux for tomorrow's outfit reached Draco's ears, he groaned softly whilst picturing how disastrous that would turn out. There was already something begging for attention and throbbing underneath the table. And it was just day 4! They still had at least two months until the semester ended and summer arrived. He wasn't sure if his healthy body could take the onslaught!

His mind stopped reeling with self-pity as he realized something. The winner of the bet got to pick the loser's clothing… But this was their last year. Which means, he'd be hanging out with the Gryffindorks all summer if he wanted to pick out Potter's outfits. And while the thought of Harry in a swimsuit and spending more time with him made his heart soar strangely, he did _not_ want to spend it with the whole Golden Trio and their entourage tagging along. He didn't get the limelight enough as is…

**I kinda liked this one…And you?? Review~??**


	6. Outfit Five

**I'M SO SORRY!! I honestly meant to update faster…I rewrote this chapter 3-4 other times because I thought it was bad. I will have a second chapter up soon. Oh, and some things I'd like to explain:**

**-I give them school Monday-Saturday. The bet was made on a Monday. So this chapter is a Saturday. Day off tomorrow~!**

**-I keep flopping between having the plot go slower or faster. So parts will be…mix-match? **

**~The Fifth Day of Bet~**

Severus Snape, once the most feared and hated teacher of all Hogwarts, was now being completely ignored. The professor had no clue as to why. He had entered the same as usual, robe billowing behind him and cold expression on his face. He had automatically started talking about what the assignment would be today after reaching his desk. His eyes were the _perfect_ mixture of contempt and hostility. Everything had been done the same as days previous but the students hadn't even acknowledged his presence! He was not happy.

"Twenty-five points from Gryffindor and Slytherin. It will be more points off and detention if you don't settle down." No one bothered protesting or sending him one bad look. He felt quite…empty.

In the middle of the chaos that was Snape's class, Harry, Draco, and their friends were clueless to their professor's woes and anger. They were too transfixed with Harry's outfit. And, of course, the furiously blushing boy himself, who was currently trying to snatch his cloak back from the hands of one Seamus Finnigan. Unfortunately for him, his Irish friend was able to keep it from his reach.

"Potter, do you shave your legs or are they naturally like that," Draco asked. His typical smirk lit up his grey eyes. Harry, if possible, looked more embarrassed.

"His legs are like that naturally," Hermione said pretentiously, thinking that she was actually helping the Golden Boy. Harry whined and Ron sent a sympathetic look to his friend. Draco, meanwhile, broke into laughter with his fellow Housemates.

"Hate to inform you, Granger," Draco drawled, ignoring the look Pansy shot him. He might stop calling the girl 'mudblood', but there was no chance at first name familiarities. "But guys missing body hair in such places is not a thing to be bragged about. It's actually rather… pathetic." He gave his flushed rival a cocky grin.

"But women would kill for legs that gorgeous," Hermione said, a bit confused. Honestly, she wished she could wake up with lean, hairless legs like that, instead of using hair-removing magic. "Besides, Harry does have hair. He has a long line of it from his bellybutton downward; very masculine."

Ron looked appalled that his ex-girlfriend would say something like that and then look proud. "'Mione! First, why are you sharing that with our enemies?! Second, women may want legs like that, but that's _women_!"

Hermione launched into an argument about why Ron thought women and men were so different in opinions and why he couldn't accept their former enemies. Blaise joined in to defend his red-headed plaything, while Pansy merely rolled her eyes and tried to keep things semi-civil. Harry was too busy with trying to get his robe back to spare Malfoy more than a half-hearted glare. The blonde smirked at him and went back to staring at the day's outfit.

It was something out of Draco's wet dreams. Almost literally, too, since it had been the second outfit Harry had worn in one of Draco's frequent 'nightmares'. Of course it had a few tweaks that made it unlike the dreamed one. For one, Harry was wearing white, net stockings that connected to a red garter belt. The skirt was also different than the ultra-tiny one that had been on the fantasized Nurse Harry. It was longer, barely covering the boy's thighs but not being as revealing and tight as the one Draco had dreamt. The shirt was close to the same: fitted and white, only revealing a bit of the nice, bronze chest underneath. (Potter had had a stethoscope until he threw it at Seamus.) The hat was also the same, only now being perched upon neater hair.

If Draco was to be honest with himself, he liked it. (But then again, when has Draco ever been honest with himself? He still insists that his enemy isn't as strong as he is. And that his desire to date only men is just a phase. Oh, and that continuous, blatant lie about the wet dreams being the product of Pansy slipping him drugs. ) Parts of him liked it more than he could begin to comprehend. It was all bloody confusing. His head was spinning with undefined emotions and it was hard to sort through it with an erection. So what did he do? Ignored the thumping of his heart (and his nether regions) and decided to talk to his lackeys instead. They always said dumb things that got his mind off problems.

All the points Gryffindor and Slytherin had earned over the past few months were gone within ten minutes of Snape arriving. He had taken away so many that the Houses _owed_ him points. He had given threats of detentions that would make _Filch_ speak on behalf of the children. After another ten minutes of yelling and throwing curses just _inches_ from his students, he quit. His voice was sore, his wand hand was spent, and, frankly, he was tired of it all. Professor Severus Snape admitted defeat.

He flopped into his chair ungracefully and buried his face in his arms. The darkness and the way his arms softened the racket of his charges helped his headache fade into a dull pain. With no one to teach and nothing to do, he fell into deep thought... He had known his godson was interested in Harry Potter for a while now. He had known it but his mind stowed it away with all the other useless, impossible, and horrific ideas he ever had. So when that letter arrived, announcing formally to all teachers that they were to help the two archenemies get together, it hadn't been as much of a shock as people might have thought.

Snape thought he took it rather well. Upon reading it, he had been filled with anger and disgust, of course. But it went away after he summoned a Potter punching bag and had a few rounds with it. Yep, he had accepted that his best student had the worst taste. But there was **no chance** that he would _help_ the couple get together, as the letter asked him to do. The thought of such a task left a bad taste in Snape's mouth. And he doubted that even Minerva McGonagall could punish him for not participating. (Besides, he put up with their idle chatter at the beginning of classes. He didn't even interject his view of Potter's slutty clothes.)

Severus thought he was hearing things; or rather _not_ hearing things. Not one sound was coming from his students. He didn't dare to lift his brunette head from his arms just yet. _Did they finally notice me?_

Hesitantly, he lifted his head. There were still no teenaged eyes on him. Instead every person was staring intently at the Golden Boy. Or, more specifically, his butt.

~*~*~

Harry froze. Just moments ago he had jumped on Seamus in a last attempt to get his robe back. (Finnigan had taken it, with Hermione's permission, so Harry wouldn't hide today's outfit.) The landing on his friend hadn't been where it went wrong. He had landed quite gracefully for such a man his size. No, where Harry had made his mistake is actually _trusting_ that his friend wouldn't take the opportunity to do something perverted to him. As soon as he landed on Seamus, his skirt was flipped up, revealing…

A red, lacy pair of underwear that had _no place_ being on Harry's body… He had been coerced into wearing it by two devious females this morning, after also being forced to wear nurses' clothing. (He suspected there was a plot to take away all his masculinity to the point where all that would be stopping him from being a woman was the thing between his legs.)

Clinging to Finnigan's shoulders, Potter willed his classmates to not be looking at him. He willed the quiet to be about something else and for those piercing looks to be his imagination. Slowly, he turned his head, full blush on his handsome face. Unfortunately, even Professor Snape had started staring at him, though he kept closing his eyes between his cackles of delight. Everyone in the classroom seemed captivated with Potter's arse. The lace clung tightly to it and the red truly looked nice against his tan skin. Too bad he had to discover that through a pair of sexy panties.

Green eyes swept across the room, gathering reactions from the familiar faces. Ron looked shocked for about two seconds before he started trying to squirm out of the grasp Blaise suddenly had on him. The red-headed boy had a perverse look on his face that was making Blaise quite jealous. Hermione and Pansy were also surveying the class for results, looking smug at the stunned faces. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to be having trouble wrapping their mind around the whole girl-underwear-on-a-masculine-guy thing. Once it settled in, they looked pleased with the underwear and broke the silence by cheering and encouraging Harry to 'take it off'!

Other Slytherins and Gryffindors seemed a mixture of amused, shocked, or aroused. Snape, as mentioned before, was enjoying himself and letting loose a new stream of laughter. And, last but not least, Harry's eyes fell on Draco. His mouth was open in a weird (pervy) leer and his gray eyes were shining in a very un-Malfoy way. His eyes seemed to be tracing over every stitch of the underwear. (Bet that made Draco's pants even tighter.) Harry felt a bit unnerved and turned his head to bury it in Seamus' shoulder. He groaned loudly, knowing he'd _**never **_live this down.

**As I said, I cannot give you a second chapter quite yet. I'll definitely try to have it tomorrow… Sorry!**


	7. Bonus Chapter & An Update

**PLEASE READ!!**** This is a bonus chapter because the real story's next chapter is taking longer than I thought it would. It's a two-parter where Ron kidnaps Harry. Feelings will be realized, first years will be pushed off buildings, and Kiku Teyano, McGonagall's servant…er, secretary, will make another appearance with important news. I just thought you guys might want something to tide you over until I post it.**

Alwyn Milthrope was an average first year at Hogwarts. His magic skills weren't a major bragging point but he wasn't doing too badly. His looks, while not enough to distract the girls of his year from fawning over older guys like Draco Malfoy, were substantial enough that he had a few admirers. His home life was average as well: he had both parents, younger siblings, and a business to inherit from his father after graduation. Alwyn Milthrope was nothing if not a normal child.

There was something unusual about him, though… But hardly anyone knew it seeing as he took _precise_ care making sure no one found out. His reputation for not being anything special would be blown if anyone did! Because the truth is Alwyn was obsessed with someone. Not simply following the person with his eyes as they walked by him, like it had been at first. No, his activities had escalated from him finding out the person's favorites to taking pictures of them to sneaking out of his bed at night to watch the person sleep.

Alwyn felt disturbed by his actions himself. Sometimes he desperately tried to stop his feet from tiptoeing to the person's bedside. But if he succeeded in not watching his crush, he'd be in a dark mood all the next day. It was starting to seem like he _needed_ this man. Hmm…? Who is this man that could turn such a (once straight) common, young wizard into a (gay) puddle of love/stalker you ask? Why, it's none other than Harry Potter.

Now that you know that, I'm sure you can understand why Alwyn is in such a situation. Harry Potter is certainly very charming. And, unfortunately for his fans who couldn't find a way to get closer to him, he kept getting more appealing. Especially since the bet with his rival had been made. (The new wardrobe had brought two fanclubs out of the shadows. One filled with confused but still aroused and happy men, the other comprised of girls bent on having the Chosen One for themselves. They had conjoined meetings on Wednesdays where they discussed the latest pictures they had snuck of Harry. And wrote and posted fanfiction.)

This brings us to Alwyn's problem and the reason we are even focusing on the nobody first year. Last Wednesday it had been brought to his and other club members' attention that Harry had just a month left before he would graduate. A _month_ left before the hero of the Wizarding World would be completely out of their grasp and in the adult world. Alwyn took it hard. He had spent the year merely watching Harry. For all he knew, the other male didn't even know of his existence…

"Cheer up, Alwyn," Ginny Weasley had said upon seeing the crushed face of her fellow student. (Ginny was leader and founder of the girls' fanclub. She was also the one in charge of stealing Potter's hairs for scrapbooks.) "There's still a month. Just stop being such a wimp."

Milthrope was determined to do just that… Regrettably, a week passed before he even had a chance to get close to his crush. He had just walked out of one of the dungeons that he had secretly turned into a shrine to Harry. (Pictures, hair, even blood of the man were collected in the dungeon. The strange thing was Filch knew about the existence of the room and just let it be…) He walked through the halls towards the Gryffindor common room. He must've missed a turn, however, because instead he found himself in a hall with suits of armor and large, open windows. He paused a second, letting the strong wind whip through his hair. Because he had paused for that second, Alwyn had been there to hear the voices that floated to his ears from the opposite side of the hall. The voices were older and, panicking, he hid to the side of one of the armors.

"Honestly, Potter, what were you _thinking_ wearing a nurse's outfit? Even if those women insisted, you could have said 'no'. Or do you not have the _balls_ to stand up to _two witches_? I mean, after your underwear showing, I'm quite certain you have them." Even young Alwyn could hear the smirk in the voice. But he didn't focus on that. He had just spotted Harry and Draco Malfoy walking towards him.

_Now is the time! Only a month left! I must do this now…there won't be another chance like this! _

Swallowing a large gulp of air, Alwyn Milthrope came from his hiding place. Harry and Draco were still a while away. He walked towards them, ignoring the thick air that seemed to radiate from both the older males. The brunette looked up, his green eyes shining as he spotted Alwyn. He smiled at his Housemate, despite not knowing the other's name. Draco looked annoyed at the bright smile his rival was giving the younger boy, since he had never received anything like it.

"Afternoon," Draco said with a sniff, looking down his nose at the younger student. His look of disgust made Alwyn nearly lose his nerve. But, steeling himself, he had to do this.

"U-uh, Harry…?" Milthrope was still a few feet away from the boys, inching closer. "I…I…uh, l-lo-I'm Alwyn Milthrope." He wanted to smack himself in the head.

Harry looked confused for a second before smiling another large grin. Draco looked downright infuriated at the lack of attention. Was something going on between him and Potter? Probably not; Draco was always an attention-hogging, drama queen.

"Nice to meet you," Harry replied, still all smiles.

Alwyn found himself in front of the teens. The air was so thick it was hard to think straight. The boys seemed to be releasing something deadly unknowingly. Alwyn was choking on it, gasping desperately at air. Both teenagers looked worried now. His throat seemed to be filled with something and the air had a weird smell of sex, frustration, and unbridled lust to it. His knees gave on him, bringing him down to the floor. Darkness closed in on his vision slowly. Before he lost all consciousness, he saw a concerned look on his crush's face.

_At least I exist to him now,_ Alwyn thought with a tiny smile.

~*~*~

"Honestly," a boisterous female voice said from the side of him. "Either we create a vaccine for them, force them to get together, or create a fundraiser to buy them each a prostitute. My office has been filling with their victims lately. I barely have enough room for them all."

"Well, I'm sure this bet will get them together eventually. Now if McGonagall had just let me put one or two cameras in their showers, I'd feel more inspired to help them. But no…"

Alwyn Milthrope opened and closed his eyes, adjusting them to the light. The dim space around him was lit by a flickering candle. He made out the faces of Madam Pomfrey and Secretary Kiku chatting to each other.

"Oh, dear, he's awake. How's your head feel?" The nurse busied herself with checking Milthrope's temperature and clucking her tongue.

"Hey, listen to me, would you? What you just experienced is called 'horny'. Do you understand me? 'Horny' is what happens when you don't get laid. And, boy, those guys need to get _laid. _McGonagall too. Let me tell-"

"How much rum did you drink," Madam Pomfrey asked abruptly, staring at the other woman's empty glass. She received a shrug. "Anyway, are you feeling alright?"

Alwyn nodded and got up to leave. Madam Pomfrey walked him to the door. "Listen, if I were you, I'd stay away from those boys for a while. I can't explain much of the situation but it's a bad idea to get between them. Or near them. Tell your friends that too, hmm?"

Alwyn thanked her and walked in the direction of the Gryffindor portrait. He wasn't sure what happened tonight but it would definitely be brought up on Wednesday. (Unfortunately, on Wednesday they premiered a video of Harry showering and all thoughts of warning his companions were lost from his head. And so…the onslaught of sexual tension on ignorant first years continues.)

**I thought that was a bit anti-climatic… Reviews!!**


	8. Outfit Six Pt 1

**SORRY! I'm sorry I took FOREVER!! And the chapter isn't all that great (to me, anyway)… Enjoy?? Oh, and sorry I made Blaise a goofball… and disturbing.**

**Side notes: **

**Automatic Fanatic**** is the name of, for the sake of the plot, a group of Potter-admirers that take it upon themselves to do whatever they feel their hero needs. In other words, deranged stalkers.**

**Alwyn Milthrope**** is a character from the last chapter. So if you didn't read that, do so now~! **

**WARNINGS: Talk of nipples, annoying first-years, and attempted murder by barrels.**

**~Sixth Day of Bet~**

"Ronald Billius Weasley, I am Alwyn Milthrope and you are under arrest by decree of Automatic Fanatic. Surrender or face punishment."

Ron grimaced. He was starting to _really_ hate this kid. If it had been the first time the first-year had said that statement, he might've laughed a little. It wasn't everyday that a magically-inexperienced kid thought he could challenge him head-on. But no, this wasn't funny anymore. That's because this was the _fifth _time the persistent bugger had done this. And, from the way Milthrope's face scrunched up in determination, this was in no way the last time unless Ron got rid of him… permanently.

"What is your problem," Ron exclaimed, waving his hands violently at the younger teen.

"My problem is that you apparently don't think kidnapping Harry Potter is a serious offence," Alwyn deadpanned, though his eyes revealed fiery anger. "And I also have a problem with falling from high up into the hard _ground!_"

Weasley shrugged. It really was the brat's fault. He should've known not to annoy someone while about 70 feet in the air and on an undefended broom. Not his responsibility to ensure the first-years had some sort of common sense. Wasn't McGonagall in charge of that? What did she _do_ all day? (As of late, Professor McGonagall had discovered the wonders of day-time television. While that occupied most of her days, she spent most nights making sure her secretary didn't do anything impure to students.) "Listen, I really don't have time for this right now. Would you just go eat dirt and leave me be?"

Ron ignored the offended look shot at him now and picked up the large barrel next to him. He leaned out the window slightly, scanning the grounds surrounding the tower he was in. Finally he spotted his target, a certain ferret, and heaved it in his direction.

~*~*~

"Look out!!"

Draco Malfoy looked warily at the sky before moving back two steps. A loud splintering noise resonated the grounds as dust from the sudden impact flew from the place he had just been standing. After the dust had cleared, a small pile of smashed wood could be seen. Draco rolled his eyes before turning to glare at the source of the projectile.

"You nearly hit me, you Weasel," he yelled, hoping his well-known snarl could be seen from such a distance. No need to look so menacing if no one could see it. After all, it might cause wrinkles later on…

"I was aiming for you, you twat!" Apparently his snarl could be seen because he could perfectly see the angry scowl he was receiving from Weasley. Unless the Weasel was so poor, he couldn't afford good eye care. Which Draco doubted seeing as the other boy had managed to perfectly throw another barrel at him from a tower. It had to take some skill and precision. "Now stay still!"

Ron grabbed the ankle of a first-year who had been floating on a broom nearby, trying to arrest the older boy, and flung him at the blonde wizard below them. Said blonde waited a few seconds to calculate the landing before sidestepping three steps. When no loud crashing sound came, Draco looked up to see that the first-year was now floating in mid-air above him. He turned to look at the person now beside him.

"You could at least _try_ to save them," Granger said, wand pointed up at the younger student. She spared a moment to give Draco a glare before lowering the student down to their side. "They're on _our_ side, you know."

Draco sniffed, turning his head away from the woman. "I'm on no one's side but my own, Granger. Besides, your side has the tendency to go crazy and kidnap people," Draco said, clearly referring to the fact that Ron had, out of nowhere, taken Potter that morning and holed themselves in one of the lesser-used towers of Hogwarts.

"Yeah? Well, your side seems to have the habit of falling in love with those crazy people and talking to walls."

Draco frowned as he turned to see Blaise Zabini still talking to a wall as he had been doing all morning. He had been like that since news of the kidnapping spread round the school and rumors arose about why the sudden incident happened. The most believable theory was that Ron had snapped after being not-so-secretly in lust with his friend since the start of the bet and decided to have his way with Potter in a secluded area. But there was also gossip about Weasley's feelings being reciprocated and the two eloping. (Which wouldn't exactly explain the whole tower thing, but who cares? This was the most exciting thing since You-Know-Who died.)

Apparently, Blaise didn't care which theory was correct since it always came back to Ron being in love with Harry. Which, to him, someone who had just been revealed to be in love with the psycho redhead, was not the happiest thought. Somehow, Blaise had ended up talking about heartbreak to a wall as everyone around him, other than Draco, who was interested in only the entertainment, ran around trying to save the Golden Boy.

"Ron has nice lips," Zabini muttered to the wall, though his eyes were staring at Ron in the window instead. "Very plump and-"

"I don't even know him," Draco cut in, ignoring the shocked, hurt look he felt his friend give him. He'd remember to apologize later… If the other male ever stopped his _disgusting_ rambling long enough to.

~*~*~

On Ron's face was a look that could put even Snape's most sour look to shame. That's because after flinging Alwyn Milthrope to what Ron had hoped was his death, the pest had just shaken it off! (Mind you, this wasn't the first time Alwyn had been thrown to the ground from such a height. After all, he had been annoying Ron for a few hours. This was just the first time anyone had saved him.) He had merely called his broom back to him before scurrying inside. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of Milthrope. He returned with vengeance… and a bullhorn.

"Release your prisoner, Ronald Billius Weasley! Or face the power of Automatic Fanatic's finest!"

The redheaded wizard rubbed his temples, soothing the headache that had formed from 15 minutes of this nonsense. The twit was way too loud without the bullhorn; with the bullhorn was just _torture_. And for a few brief seconds, when Alwyn waited for a reply, Weasley considered surrendering. Anything to get that brat quiet. Heck, he might even stop throwing stuff at Malfoy long enough for the kid to put handcuffs on him. (Which Milthrope did, surprisingly, have. They were fur-covered and had the initials 'GMW' engraved on the metal chain.)

"Fine, you know what? I quit," Ron said with a sigh. The enthusiastic first-year beamed and starting flying closer to the window.

"I can understand why you'd do this," Alwyn said, in the best sympathetic voice he could manage. He had finally gotten the stubborn jerk to admit defeat! "After all, Harry is very attractive and cool while you're-" Alwyn cut off with a shake of his head. Best not to kick someone who's already down.

"I'm what," Ron asked, irritation becoming clear in his words once more. His jaw clenched and his face was turning a slight red shade.

"Uh, nothing," Milthrope said, recovering his compassionate tone, which was starting to sound more condescending than his intentions. "I just know that sometimes people might get jealous of stars, such as Harry, and do rash things. Like kidnap them."

_Him _jealous of his best mate!? Ron was pissed. He was probably even angrier than he was when Hermione was called a mudblood. He was so angry that, despite the fact that he had just spotted a heavy metal object to his left and Malfoy had just moved into an opportune spot to get hit, he couldn't even think to throw it at his enemy. Right now all he could focus on was wrapping his hands around that tiny neck and shaking the kid.

Weasley, busy trying to calm and convince himself that the kid wasn't worth it and that he was _plenty _attractive, didn't notice the other male inching closer on his broom until he hovered only a foot away. He did, however, see the pitying look the aforementioned male had on his face right away. Which, as the old saying goes, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ron Weasley had a mental breakdown.

"Hey, -Alwyn, was it?-, come here," Ron growled, his long red hair covering his eyes as a dark aura radiated around him. The poor first-year's eyes widened and he made to dive down on his broom. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough and had the back of his shirt pulled. Ron yanked the boy through the window, purposely allowing the small head to whack the stone trim.

~*~*~

"Well," Pansy started, her voice a monotone. "Looks like Ronnie's got himself another captive."

"Yup," Hermione said, staring up at the tower lazily. She was a bit tired from having to save, singlehandedly, a bunch of dumb first-years who hadn't a lick of sense. "Should we help him?"

"Nah, let's deal with this after lunch. I'm starving."

Hermione nodded, brushing off her robe as she stood up. "You coming, Blaise?"

"His nipples, Hermione, were so yummy on my tongue," Blaise mumbled sadly, looking off into the distance. "And he would moan so loud if I bit them the slightest. And then-"

"I'll take that as a no," Hermione said hurriedly, grabbing Pansy's arm and pulling her from the scene as fast as possible. Ron's nipples were not exactly the best topic to discuss before lunch, for Merlin's sake!

**OK, next part up soon (hopefully)! Harry realizes his feelings for Draco, an announcement is made, Ron either mends or breaks Blaise's heart in the second part. Review, even if it's to tell me I'm sucky.**


End file.
